


Earning Redemption

by traitorsinlove



Series: For The Love of Bellarke [21]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Character Death, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 16:46:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12063054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/traitorsinlove/pseuds/traitorsinlove
Summary: Another fic request from Tumblr! Thank you to @wellsjahasghost and @bellamynochillblake for collaborating with me to get this fic where I needed it to be! I greatly appreciate all of the feedback and ideas we kicked around!Prompt: Could you write a fic where Clarke makes it back to the rocket in time, but her helmet still cracks in Bellamy’s POV please.   -anonymousP.S. In this fic, there was no suicide attempt by Echo that Bellamy talked her down from.





	Earning Redemption

**Bellamy POV**

The lab is empty, the lights flickering dangerously against the oncoming storm outside. In the last five minutes on Earth, we had all worked together to ensure our survival.

Now, six of us were onboard and strapped down in the rocket. Two of us weren’t.

I stand at the base of the ladder and glance at the countdown: three minutes. There were three minutes to launch, and Clarke wasn’t back yet.

“Bellamy.” I hear a voice call from over my shoulder. I turn to see Raven standing in the hatch, her eyes filled with worry.

“I know, Raven.” I rasp, not daring to believe that I was going to be forced to leave Clarke on this burning planet.

I hear a loud crash from behind me and spin to find Clarke gripping the railing before descending the stairs, tripping over her feet as she hurriedly staggers across the lab towards us. That’s when I see it. There is a crack and a significant hole in the glass of her helmet.

My mind freezes. I can already see the blisters forming in harsh red circles on her face. But the radiation isn’t our biggest concern now. Clarke has to make it an hour in space with a cracked helmet.

My mind snaps and races for a solution, but it finds nothing. This couldn’t be happening.

“Raven,” I call, my voice strangled as I turn and lead Clarke to the ladder to climb. “What do we do?” I ask as we meet the brunette at the mouth of the rocket.

Raven’s eyes widen before she blinks quickly. Her mouth opening but nothing coming out.

“Raven.” I bark, demanding a solution.

“I mean, we don’t have any more helmets or oxygen tanks… And taping it shut isn’t going to keep oxygen in… I, I…” She stutters, her eyes filling with tears.

My panicked eyes meet Clarke’s, and the utter loss I see painted in her blue eyes devastates me. I can’t leave her here, but how is she supposed to hold her breath for an hour? There wouldn’t be enough oxygen for the eight of us to ration together for an entire _hour_.

I glance swiftly between the faces of my friends, silently pleading for some suggestion, some solution to save the second-most important person in my life. My eyes halt at Echo; there is an emotion in her eyes that I can’t place.

“Two minutes to launch.” Raven murmurs.

I turn to Clarke, completely lost for words and a solution. Her jaw clenches slowly as determined tears fill her eyes. She nods softly before gripping my arm firmly.

“Take care of them for me.” She murmurs, her voice filled with emotion.

“Clarke,” I rasp, my eyes pleading with her, the universe, anyone who will listen. “I can’t. I can’t do this without you.”

“You have to now.” Clarke replies, her brow set in a determined grimace, yet her eyes are soft, vulnerable.

“No, he doesn’t.” A voice says firmly from behind us. Echo stands quickly before crossing to the hatch and climbing out.

“Echo,” I ask. “What are you doing?”

“The honorable thing.” She replies simply, her mouth a grim line. The same emotion I saw before is in her eyes again, and this time I recognize it.

Pity. Guilt.

She quickly removes her helmet and thrusts it towards Clarke. Clarke’s fingers curl around it slowly, her gaze rising to meet those of the Ice Nation spy.

“There isn’t much time. You all need to go, now.” Echo pushes the helmet further into Clarke’s arms before climbing down the ladder to the lab floor.

“I’m sorry.” Clarke whispers, tears spilling from her bright eyes. She does not say thank you. She can’t. “Thank you” would be Clarke admitting that she believes she deserves to be saved. This is something that is breaking Clarke’s heart, I know it. Neither one of us is okay with this situation in the slightest. Clarke would give her life up in a heartbeat for any of us, but Echo beat her to the punch this time.

Echo nods in reply.

I follow Clarke into the rocket before we turn and share a final glance with the woman who has killed so many, yet saved one person so vital to my existence. The one who makes it ore than just existing and surviving; the one who makes it a life. I swallow thickly. I never wanted any of them to die, even Echo. I nod in farewell, in thanks, my eyes threatening to give way to emotion.

“I gonplei ste odon.” Echo says in farewell. She steps outside of the blast doors, and as Raven closes them, Echo’s form is blurred by the textured glass. I close the hatch door, taking a deep breath and turn to find my seat.

Clarke quickly trades her helmet for the one Echo gave her and straps in for take-off. I glance over at her as I buckle myself in beside Raven and find her eyes are filled with tears. I know what she’s feeling.

Guilt.

It seems like every time we’re close to being rid of guilt, it comes back to haunt us. I’m not sure we’ll ever be able to escape it in this life. It’s a crappy hand we’ve been dealt, but we overcome, as always. There are just some things I question if we’ll ever get past. I mentally add today to the list.

The computer comes online with the countdown as I hear the engines firing. I hold to the straps across my chest as the timer nears ignition. The rocket surges upward, shaking violently, the sound of fiery propulsion filling my ears. I squeeze my eyes shut against the jarring of the vessel.

We reach the edge of space not ten minutes later. As we detach from the rest of the rocket, I open my eyes to be greeted by the all-too familiar view of a black blanket dotted with countless stars.

I look over at Clarke once again, and find that she isn’t crying anymore, but holding her head high. Even from across the cockpit, I can see the battle raging in her eyes. Relief that she’s alive or guilt because she wasn’t the one sacrificing this time, which would win out? I had a feeling I knew which one would, but there would be time to talk about that later.

Five years, to be exact.

“Welcome to Zero G, everybody.” Raven smirks before unbuckling from her seat. As she floated above our heads, I could see the happiness shining in her smile.

I chance a look at Clarke and our eyes meet. She gives me a halfhearted smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. I give her a small nod, silently promising that she isn’t alone, that we will be okay eventually.

* * *

Docking the rocket with the Ring had been challenging, and we had all nearly suffocated before the air systems kicked into gear.

Afterwards, we scattered across the Ring, scavenging any remaining clothing, food, and other resources we could use while Raven and Monty worked on environmental controls. Eventually, we all somewhat settled back into another long duration in space.

As people claim rooms, I walk around the Ring, familiarizing myself once again with the dingy metallic walls that are even colder now than they were growing up. Sure, I’m glad to be alive, but not _all_ of us are. I shake my head as I pass another corridor before making my way to the viewing window where so many moonrises had been observed before.

I round the corner to find the window already inhabited. Clarke sits on the floor, her knees drawn up to her chest as she stares out at the flaming inferno that is now Earth. She looks so tiny and frail compared to the strong-willed, stubborn woman I know her as. She hears my footsteps because she turns her face towards me, and I see the tears that stain her pale cheeks.

That’s when it hits me full force. Without saying a word, Clarke is begging me to help her. To ease the guilt. To stop punishing herself because she doesn’t have the strength to do it on her own.

My jaw clenches as I close the space between us, sit beside her, and gently wrap an arm around her shoulders. She leans into my side as she wraps her arms around my waist.

“Tell me that I did the right thing, Bellamy.” Clarke’s voice cracks as she sobs into my chest.

I sigh, knowing that if I say she did do the right thing, Clarke will still feel like a monster.

“It wasn’t your fault, Clarke.” I murmur, resting my chin on her hair.

“Echo is dead because of me.” She whispers.

“Echo made her own choice,” I supply quietly, searching for the right words. “But now it’s up to us to make sure that her sacrifice wasn’t in vain. You’re still alive, right?”

Clarke nods feebly. I take another slow breath.

“So far, her sacrifice wasn’t for nothing. Let’s make sure it stays that way. Alright?” It kills me to see Clarke bearing even more weight from loss and sacrifice. I know how it feels, I understand the guilt and self-deprecation. Today wasn’t just the end of the world, it was a new era of life for everyone who survived the Death Wave, including Clarke and myself.

A chance to begin again.

“You’re right,” Clarke sniffled before sitting up, looking at me. “Echo did the honorable thing, just like she said. Now it’s my turn to honor her by keeping myself alive.”

“That’s better.” I murmur, a half-smile curving my lips softly.

Clarke nods, her tormented eyes wandering back to the window beside us.

“Do you think it was quick?” She asks, her eyes unwavering from the blazing fire consuming the Earth.

“I hope so.” I reply, my gaze following hers.

Clarke sighs, wrapping her arms around her knees once again. She looks so young like this, not at all like the eighteen-year-old I have come to respect and care for. I wonder what my life would have been like had I met her on the Ark before landing on the ground. Different, that’s for sure. But we wouldn’t have the same relationship that we do today. We wouldn’t have been molded by harsh environments, wouldn’t have been scarred by impossibly critical decisions, wouldn’t have developed the trust that we now share. And even though I hate the circumstances, I wouldn’t change a single day on Earth with this incredible woman simply because “what if”.

Silence envelopes us for several minutes before Clarke speaks again.

“Why do you think she did it?”

I blink in thought, gazing down at her blonde curls. I swallow thickly because I know why.

“Even though Echo was cutthroat most of the time, she still had a sense of honor, no matter how twisted it might have been,” I begin slowly. “She did it for me. After Gina… and everything with Octavia, I think she knew that I couldn’t lose another person that I cared about.”

I see Clarke nod, her eyes remaining fixed out the window. “It makes sense, I guess.”

I gently turn Clarke so I can look her in the eye. “You deserved to be saved, Clarke. You’re not alone, you never were.”

“Like you said, forgiveness is hard for us… But I’m going to try.” She sends me a small, reassuring smile.

“That sounds like a good plan.” I mumble.

Clarke returns her eyes to the window. I know that the debt she feels can never be repaid will result in her being here nearly every day for a long time. My heart aches to make it better, but in this instance, I’m powerless. This is an obstacle that Clarke must face and overcome by herself, with a solid support beside her. That’s my place.

Clarke peels her eyes away from the window and catches me staring. She blinks.

“What?” She whispers.

I shake my head gently. “You’re so strong, Clarke. I know that’s a blessing and a curse for both of us, but I’m glad you are.”

Clarke gives me the smallest of smiles. “I’m glad you are, too.”

I wrap my arm around her once again, pulling her to me before planting a light kiss in her hair. “We’re going to be alright, Clarke. I promise.”

Clarke sighs against my side. “I know that we will. It’s just hard to see that right now.”

“I know,” I reply into her hair. “The future is never certain with us.”

“You got that right.” She remarks, and I can’t help the smirk that tugs on my lips.

“You’re starting to sound like your old self again.”

She looks up at me, a flickering emotion in her eyes, almost as if she’s unsure if she can trust it or not. _Hope_.

“Good.” She swallows, her eyes never leaving mine. I nod, silent understanding passing between us. Clarke returns her eyes to the window.

 “We’re going to be okay.” I promise her once again, quietly.

It would take time, and the sacrifices made today to reach this point would never be forgotten. The next five years will be hard on all of us, but I know that they will be easier to endure with Clarke beside me, than they would without her stubborn strength and determination.

We will get through this, just like we do every other hurdle in our path…

“Together.” She whispers.

“Together.”

**Author's Note:**

> There were several directions this story could have gone in, but this was the one that won out. I understand that some people won’t like this ending, but it felt right to me, the writer. Thank you!


End file.
